I wanted to do A Level Photography, which in all the schools and colleges local to me I could only find in two places - one college and one sixth form. Since doing Photography at A Level meant me travelling to a different college campus which is a 15 minute shuttle bus ride away, but doing it at the sixth form meant that everything was on one campus, it was a lot more convenient and was in fact the deciding factor in choosing the school. I went for a meeting with the head of sixth form some months ago and we discussed my options where she told me that all my options fit into the pre-decided blocks, this made me happy and was the reason that I chose the school over the other schools and colleges I applied for, I knew that the option blocks were subject to change, but didn't let that bother me. Luckily however, I haven't made any final decisions just yet.
When I went to the first sixth form taster day today (there's three in total, which seems a bit excessive) and I found that the option blocks have been completely rearranged meaning that I can now do Chemistry, and any two of English Language, Psychology and Photography. I feel pretty pissed off that I wasn't informed earlier, also the people whose options clashed in the original option blocks were already aware of that and still chose to go to the school, so it seems kind of stupid to change it if everyone was either happy, or happy to compromise rather than go to a different college or sixth form. I know that it's selfish of me to say that, but it was just all working out perfectly, and now I'm back to square one.
After a rant and discussion with Dad, he feels that I'd be best off doing Chemistry, Psychology and English, and pursuing Photography at night school as a hobby if that's what I enjoy doing. I admit that it seems the best option, especially since I really don't know what I want to do in the future, so I want to keep my options as wide open as possible - which is the reason I've already changed my mind once, and opted to do Chemistry instead of Art - to give myself a broader range of subjects.
It's just that if I'd known from the start that I would only be able to do Chemistry, Psychology and English, I'd have probably chosen to go to a different school, one that doesn't require me to wake up at 6:15am, that has more external students coming in (there were probably about 10-15% of us that were external students) so I don't feel like such an outcast, and that doesn't cost me £18 a week in bus fares to get there. My parents have happily said that they'll pay for my school stuff over the next two years, and free transport isn't a deciding factor, but it's certainly a big expense to go somewhere that doesn't offer me all the subjects that I want to do.
My options are:
- Do Chemistry, English Language and Photography
- Do Chemistry, English Language and Psychology
- Do Chemistry, Photography and Psychology
- Do English Literature, Photography and Psychology
- Do Art, English Language and Psychology
- Ring the college up and see if I can do all four subjects and just handle the shuttle bus.
All in all, I feel lost and confused, and the worst part of it all is that it's my decision, and sometimes it would be so much easier if these big decisions could be made for me, I hate them so much because I just don't know what to do.
And I'm under serious pressure to make a decision, I'll have to make it before term starts, but I'm not entirely sure when.
Fuck, decisions suck.