I wish I'd never met you

Dress - Topshop

Cardigan - George at Asda

Necklace - Primark

Belt - Primark

This is what I wore for school today, I really like the shape of this dress and you've probably seen a lot of girls walking around in similar ones, it was a very popular style at Topshop. I got mine in the sale and accidentally picked up one from the petite range so it is a little short, but luckily I'm not the tallest person anyway so I don't think it is too obscene, especially when I wear it with thick tights and a cardigan like today.

I went to Leicester University at the weekend for an open day, it was nice and the English BA there sounds like a really good course, and it put my mind to rest about having only done Language and not Literature at A Level. The accommodation looked nice and everyone I spoke to was really friendly and helpful, I am still considering it for next year - now my biggest problem is trying to scrape a B in Chemistry. 

Up until now I was really looking forward to university, but going to the open day made it feel very real, and a lot of concerns have risen. I don't want to be one of those people who stay in their room all the time and don't socialise - one of the biggest things I want to gain from university is a bunch of new friends, but I know how much I struggle with talking to new people and I'm terrified that I will get there and hate it like I hated sixth form. But I still feel rather like I should go to university (what else would I do?) and I want to go away - I think commuting would only make me stay in my shell, leaving home might force me out. It's just a big gamble and it's very scary. 

How did any of you deal with meeting lots of new people, either at work or at university?

Autumn is coming

Autumn is coming by prawnnnnn featuring a loose sweater

Autumn - or Fall, I love that name - is my second favourite season, after Winter, just because it is so homely and warming, and is a relaxing period after the so-called 'excitement' of Summer (which I never seem to experience). I love the crisp, dewy mornings and the cheek-reddening winds, the piles of crunchy leaves and the hearty meals.
Plus, Autumn means going back to school with my friends, and I often see it as the start of a new year, rather than January 1st, as it is when everything recycles in my life, and has done for the past 13 years.

I'm actually quite excited to go back to school this time, and probably for the first time ever, as it will be a hard and busy year, that ends with the choice of going to University (which I still remain undecided on), doing a further course at a college, or going into the working world for real, whether that be in an apprenticeship or a full-time job. I just know that I'm going to have to make massive decisions and massive steps (and be MATURE), and I want to get started as soon as possible, as it's going to be so freaking scary!!
I'm sort of starting to feel old enough for all this; is this me growing up?

 Anyway, what could enpower you to get cracking more than a lovely, cosy outfit to wear? I always think of Autumn colours as mustards and plums, as well as the obvious oranges, reds, yellows and browns, so this is my very obvious take on the style.
For me, no matter what 'trends' are in at this period, I always wear the same stuff, warm-coloured jumpers, jeans, and heavy shoes. It's just a no-fail solution to being cosy and rosy!

Anyway, thank you for reading, let us know what you are going to get up to in the Autumn months in a comment. We're going to see Bowling For Soup!!! How exciting.

From a very young age...

Shirt - Flotique (available here) 

Jacket - Vintage 

Skirt - Republic 

Sneakers - Converse

Okay, so I admit that the jacket isn't really vintage... it's my mum's. But she did buy it in the 90's so technically it is still vintage, but vintage sounds a whole lot cooler than "borrowed from my mum" doesn't it? 

We are beginning to write our personal statements for university applications at school now, which is a very daunting process because 1) I am not good at talking myself up and 2) I don't have any hobbies that a university would really approve of; my free time consists of scrolling Tumblr, watching TV, baking and reading magazines.

I do enjoy writing though, which is why I'm considering an English degree in which I can choose certain modules which include creative writing. The whole reason I began this blog in the first place with my good friend Hannah was to get my voice out there and get some writing practise in, bloggers are always getting featured in Company magazine and I think it's a great place to start.

I hope you're all good, and if you have any tips for applying to university I'd very much like to here them!

An update

Well, firstly I would like to say a huge sorry for not posting for almost a month, that is not good blogging practise I know, but exams have to come first and they're all out of the way now for another year so I can focus on things I actually enjoy, like baking, blogging and going out.

I wish I could tell you that so much has happened over the last month, but to tell you the truth my life has been consumed by exams and revision, which is why I thought a short break from blogging may be a good idea, it's not as if I would have had a whole lot to talk about.

Firstly though, I have actually got a job! You may remember Enthalpy Change of Formation where I complained that I went to enquire about a job vacancy and wasn't successful. WELL the woman rung me up at 7 o'clock last night and asked me if I could start at 10 o'clock this morning! It is only pot washing at the weekend but money is money and it's in a really nice place, a lovely little coffee shop overlooking the canal. I also get to choose which of the homemade delights I would like for my dinner (and get it for free) and then get to take home a load of left over cakes and pastries at the end of my shift, so I can't complain.

I have also managed to acquire the new Paramore album (by that I mean I borrowed a copy and imported it onto my iTunes) I think it is a really good album and cannot decide what my favourite song is! Hayley Williams is just perfection in every way.

Hope you haven't missed us too much

J for Jobs

Image from We Heart It 

Since I started sixth form in September, it feels like everyone around me is employed - they can afford clothes, trips to the cinema, Leeds tickets and in some cases a car!

Everyone complains about having a job but I think sometimes they forget what it's like to have to ask your mum for money, or to not have any at all - I haven't bought myself any new clothes in ages (and there is an amazing H! by Henry Holland dress from Debenhams that I really want) but I would just like some independence from my parents - I hate being so reliant on them for money.

People think that I haven't looked for a job which simply isn't true, I've applied everywhere. But who wants a 17-year-old sixth former with no experience? And besides, there's a million people out there like me looking for a weekend-and-evening job, most of the time it seems to be a simple case of knowing the right people.

As for my future career, I have no idea of what I'll end up doing, most of the things I would like to do are almost impossible to make a living out of (ie. writing and baking) I'm not fussed about having loads of money, enough so I can be comfortable is alright by me, especially if I love or atleast like my job. I haven't given up on the idea of marrying a millionaire or being found on Heir Hunters (I've been watching way too much daytime TV over the past couple of weeks - my dad won't pay for Sky Plus) 

Do any of you work? And if you do, do you like it?

E for Exams

Image from We Heart It 

Hannah, myself and thousands of other students around the country are getting scarily close to some pretty important exams right now. For some, the realisation of the exams' significance came a month or so ago, I personally think it's just about dawning on me now, and others probably won't give a damn until about a week before the exam and cram like crazy - I really don't want to cram.

I'm most scared about my Chemistry exams - I've had every grade possible over the past six months, the entire spectrum from A to U and I'm really hoping to get a C overall. I'm nervous for Psychology because there's just so much to remember, especially names and dates for the different studies. English Language is an odd one because you can revise as much as you like but if a horrid text comes up on the exam you could still be screwed. 

I just want them to be over - I always feel relieved after an exam or test because even if I don't feel particularly confident (for some reason I always seem to do the best on the exams I'm the least confident about) because once you're told to put your pen down there's nothing more you can do and then the summer can begin, I'm really looking forward to this summer - I don't have any big plans or anything (although I would have loved to have gone to a festival) but I'm just looking forward to wearing shorts and laying on the grass and going to the beach. Ofcourse with my moonkissed skin sun scream is a must - and if you burn easily like me I really recommend P20 suncream - it smells horrid but I only applied it in the morning and didn't burn once during my holiday last summer, I was on holiday in England, but my point is still valid.

Image from We Heart It 

Have any of you got any stressful times coming up, and how are you dealing with them? 

Rose Photoshoot

I had to take some photos of flowers today, harshly lit with a bicycle light. I used a rose because we had a vase full from my mum's birthday and they are starting to look a little dead which I thought added to the effect.

I know I don't post too much of my Photography stuff (mostly because I know it's all bollocks) but I'm rather happy with how these came out and we haven't posted since Monday and I don't want you to think we've forgotten about this blog because we really haven't, it just hasn't been a very inspirational week.

That's fucked up

Cardigan - Sparkle & Fade at Urban Outfitters

Vest - Primark

Necklace - An adorable little shop in Durham

Jeans - Next

Worn with flowery Dr Martens

Today was quite a good day, I had an early-morning driving lesson before school and did my first parallel park (I was way to far from the kerb but atleast I didn't hit anything!) then I had three free periods, during one of which me and David did our normal trip to Sainsbury's and bought a bag of Mini Eggs and some Pepsi because Pepsi was cheaper than Coke.

We've all been told to make revision timetables at school which means I have to make one to avoid getting in the shit even though I will not stick to one and I'm not really feeling the pressure when it comes to exams just yet so I really, really don't see the point, but nobody likes to upset the apple cart do they?

Linophobia

I just wanted to show you guys this work I did in Photography today, since it's one of the few things that I've done and actually like.

My work is all based on fears and phobias, so I took this hand mannequin that Miss had in the cupboard and positioned it based on a "drowning man" and then wrapped string around it because the piece was to be focused on linophobia - the fear of string. Also, the string is supposed to represent how irrational phobias "constrict" a person's everyday life (blah blah photography student shit blah blah) and then I added all the text using Photoshop which took forever but overall I think it's pretty good.

What do you guys think?

Issues

Today I got my exam paper for my Photography exam, and I don't really like any of the questions I've been given, I had a choice of:

• Contrasts
• Musicians and Instruments
• Issues
• Home
• Multiple Image

I've decided to focus on Issues, and look further into fears and phobias, particularly weird phobias. Here are some of my favourites:

Aerophobia: Fear of swallowing air

Arachibutyrophobia: Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Batophobia: Fear of being close to high building

Chionophobia: Fear of snow

Dextrophobia: Fear of objects at the right side of the body

Genuphobia: Fear of knees

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words

Octophobia: Fear of the number 8

Paraskavedekatriaphobia: Fear of Friday the 13th

Selenophobia: Fear of the moon

Xanthophobia: Fear of the color yellow 

Currently my idea is to simply take photos of the things that people are scared of and luckily most of them are inanimate objects as I found it really difficult to take photos of people last time, I'm just no good at bossing them about!

How was your Monday?

Photo blues

Today I realised that I have a mere two weeks in which I need to photograph, edit and put together my final piece for my Photography coursework, before I get my exam paper at the beginning of February.

Needless to say, this panicked me a little, especially since in that time I need to:

• Do a reshoot
• Do two photographer-inspired shoots
• Do all four of my final shoots

It doesn't sound much, but when I have to organise people it feels like such a ball-ache. I'm not entirely sure that I knew what I was setting myself up for by doing Photography. But I don't like it, it's dull.

The photographers I have to copy are:

Diane Arbus

  

And Bill Brandt 

  

Sometimes, I wonder exactly who Miss thinks I know and are willing to let me take their photo. 

Sorry for this very boring and self-absorbed post, somehow the more I talk about it, the more I feel like I'm actually doing something about it, even when I'm not.

School sucks

I think that I've been driving everyone else mad with this shit all week, and so I've decided to give them a break and tell you guys about it instead. 

I hate sixth form. 
I hate everything about it; I hate that I have to ask permission to have a driving lesson during my free period, I hate being there an hour early in the morning, I hate waiting for the bus in the freezing cold for 15-20 minutes every night, I hate leaving in the dark and coming home in the dark, I hate how the roof leaks and the common room stinks like damp and warm food, I hate the bitch of a Textiles teacher whose room I have to walk through to get to Photography, I hate that I'm the only person in my year doing Photography and that next year I'll be the only person in the school doing it, because they aren't running the course next year, I hate my stupid locker and how temperamental the lock is.

But most of all, I hate the fact that nobody talks to me outside of lesson - apart from the four girls that I came with at the start of the year. People will say hello to me in the corridor, or speak to me during lesson, but once that bell goes it's like I don't exist to them - nice, huh?

Maybe it's me, I'm shy as Hell and don't like making the effort with new people because I don't think that they want to talk to me.

So, I've applied to go to college next year. I want to carry on with my English and Psychology A Levels, but drop Photography and Chemistry and take up Textiles instead. College have said that I can go, and I may even be able to do all the Textiles AS and A Level in one year, so I won't even be a year behind everyone else!

The only thing that's holding me back, is what if I don't make any friends next year either? What if I go through my whole life always on the verge and never feeling like I belong ever again? It's only now that I've begun to realise just how much I felt at home in Year 11 - I've never been the new girl, and I went to the local secondary school. This year has been a huge upheaval for me, and I don't know if swapping will actually improve things at all.

So, my options?

1. Stay where I am
2. Go to college (keeping English and Psychology and taking up Textiles)
3. Go to college and do a BTEC/re-start A Levels
4. Get a job

I'm willing to take advice from just about anyone right now, so what do you guys think I should do?

And if you've only just realised how much of a loser I am, I'm sorry for any disillusions.